


Secrets

by caseyyysimpson



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Anxiety, Confessions, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Internal Conflict, Lust, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, becomes obsessed with a song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29072304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caseyyysimpson/pseuds/caseyyysimpson
Summary: Dream, George, and Sapnap have always been really close friends. Nothing would get between them; or so they thought. Late at night, Dream listens to a song and becomes reminded of George. What does this mean for him?
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. announcements :))

hi everyone!! this is going to be a dreamnotfound fanfic

this is my first fanfic ever, so sorry if it's bad and just try to bear with me

I'm not sure where I'm even taking this, I might give up halfway, but if I decide to keep writing, I will try to update weekly

If any of the people that are included in this fic say they are uncomfortable, I will take it down immediately

if I make any mistakes in grammar or I mispell any words, don't feel bad correcting me, please do it!

about smut, I'm honestly not sure if I'll write it because I don't even know where this story is going, but I'll put a warning before it if I decide to write smut

I will add any trigger warnings before and after so you can just skip through it :)

if you have any questions or suggestions feel free to ask/tell, just please don't be rude about it, I'm sensitive LMAO

so about the actual story, _thoughts will be written like this_

I think this will mainly be from dream's pov, but if that ever changes, I'll let you all know whose pov you're in

okay I'm done talking now, I hope you enjoy!!


	2. wait what??

**TW: mild swearing**

The three of them had been streaming for over two hours now. It was Dream's first stream back after the whole speedrunning drama. George and Sapnap were there to keep him company, but weren't really doing that. They were bickering over something, but dream honestly wasn't sure what it was about. He was bridging over a huge lava pool, the bright orange color emitting a bright light into his dark room. The bright light was a strain to his tired eyes. He looked over to his clock and it read _3:32 am._

_damn, it's late. I should probably head to bed soon_

He continued thinking about how great it would be to go lay down in his soft, comfy, warm bed when a voice pulled him out of his trance

"DREAM" George and Sapnap shouted in unison

Dream started to gather his surroundings again. he was live on stream, playing minecraft, and was now getting attacked by a piglin.

He didn't have enough time to react, and ended up dying

"Dream, you're so bad what were you even doing" Sapnap said, laughing

"He was probably zoned out thinking about my pretty face," George said flirtatiously

I just laughed in reply

"I think I'm gonna go ahead and end stream"

"Goodbye chat, I love you guys!! George and Sap say bye to the stream"

"Bye everyone!!" they said in unison

I hit the end stream button, leaving just the three of us in vc2

"I'm exhausted, I'm going to bed, talk to you guys tomorrow" I heard Sapnap mumble

"Night" George replied

I heard the sound signaling Sap had left the call

"Hey, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfy earlier, I just assumed you were okay with it since you always do it to me" George said quietly

_he seems nervous, why is george nervous??_

I leaned back in my chair, attempting to stretch out my sore body. While doing that, I looked over to the clock and it read _3:57 am_

"George, don't worry you didn't make me uncomfortable I'm just really tired" I said through a yawn

"Oh, okay, good" George replied sounding slightly relieved

"But you were right...I was thinking about your pretty face" I said smirking

"Whatever I'm going to bed" George scoffed

"Aww so soon sleeping beauty?" "I'll miss you" I said pretending to sound hurt

"Stop being such a baby you'll be fine" he said trying to sound annoyed

"goodnight dream" he added quietly, before leaving the call

 _it's so easy to fluster him_ I think to myself

I shut off my PC, and go lay down on my bed. As tired as I felt, I couldn't fall asleep. My brain wouldn't shut off, I had thoughts just circling through my head

_PLEASE shutup brain, I need to sleep_

After five more minutes of not being able to sleep, I had enough of it. I turned on my phone, opened Spotify, and searched up _I Wanna Be Yours_ by Arctic Monkeys

I put my AirPods in, and clicked the loop button for the song. I laid my head back down on my pillow, and closed my eyes, listening to the lyrics.

_I just wanna be yours_

_This song reminds me of George,_ I thought to myself

_wait what??_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note
> 
> 521 words
> 
> this was a pretty short chapter, I will eventually try to make my chapters longer
> 
> i'm pretty happy with this chapter, what about you guys?? :)
> 
> anyways, as you can tell, this is most likely going to be a slowburn (i wont make it too slow though)
> 
> i do recommend listening to this song if you haven't it's one of my favorites!!
> 
> and it for some reason reminds me of george, I'm not really sure why
> 
> okay, that's it i hope you enjoyed
> 
> remember, you are all worth it, and i love you :))


	3. I wanna be yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note
> 
> hi everyone!! i just wanted to let you all know that this is a bit longer than the first chapter, so make sure to get water or something to eat :)) i hope you enjoy!!

**TW: mild swearing, mild anxiety**

I stare at my computer screen, shocked by the message I just received. I look at my clock and it reads _10:42 pm_ **  
**

 _I have to be misreading this, I'm just tired_ I tell myself

It was a simple message. It read "Clay, we need to talk. It's important" Except it wasn't about what the message said, it was about the person who had sent the message

_George_

I shakily type a response, "Uh sure, vc1?"

I hear the ringing of George calling me, but hesitate-

_Something has to be wrong. What if he's mad? But what if it's good? What if he just wants to talk? I'm overreacting. No, no something has to be wrong. He wouldn't text me this for no reason_

My head racing with thoughts, I accept the call

"H-hello?" I say quietly

_shit_

_"_ Hi Dream", George replies in a sing-songy tone

 _he seems fine_ I think to myself

"George what the hell is so important that makes you send a message like that?" "I thought something bad happened" I say in a snappy tone

"Hey calm down it is important."

The call goes silent while I wait for him to give the "important news"

"IM COMING TO FLORIDA" George yells

My mouth turns into a huge smile

"REALLY??" I scream back, excited

"Yeah. I've been doing a lot of thinking here lately, and you mean a lot to me..and I really want to meet you." George replies sounding flustered 

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" I ask with a smirk

"Yes no need to make a big deal" he scoffs

"Aww Gogy has a crush on me how sweet" I say through laughs

"Don't act as if you don't feel the same way dumbass." "You do don't you?" George asks, his voice lacing with concern

"Of course I do" I reply with the biggest smile on my face

After talking for another hour, we say our goodnights, and both leave the call. I look at the clock and it reads _11:54 pm_

_im not tired, and im starving so ill make some food_

I head downstairs to the kitchen to make a quick snack. The light was off, so I find the light switch and turn it on. 

It was way brighter than usual, and was hurting my eyes

 _you're just tired_ I tell myself

I start hearing birds chirping, and quickly get confused

_what the hell? it's almost midnight why are there birds still out_

I close my eyes, due to the bright light, the birds getting louder. When I open them again, I'm in my bed. I look down, confused, trying to gather my surroundings. 

_It was just a dream_

I look over to my window, the bright sunlight seeping through the blinds, and pouring onto my tired face. 

Birds. I could hear the birds chirping, getting ready for their day

"You have to be kidding me" I whisper to myself

I felt a strange feeling in my stomach, a feeling of nervousness

_what the hell was that_

_If George knew I was dreaming about him, longing for him, what would he think of me? He would probably be disgusted_

_Do I even like him? Maybe I'm just overreacting. It was ONE dream. No, George is my best friend. Just that, my **friend** , nothing more_

Mind racing with thoughts, I turn over to check my phone

_139 notifications from twitter_

_98 notifications from Instagram_

_1 text message_

I clear all my twitter and instagram notifications, but check my messages

When I see who they're from I get a weird feeling in my stomach, I feel nervous, anxious for some reason

_George_

_why do I feel weird, it's just George_

I anxiously open the message, nervous for what it will reveal

_good morning :) it reads_

It was just a normal message, but I for some reason hesitated on what to say back

"hey" _no that sounds too weird_

"good morning :)" _no, you're just copying him_

"hey, i had a dream about you lol" _what the fuck, no_

 _"_ morning _"_ is what I eventually settle on

Willing to do anything to get my mind off of George, I get out of bed

I look over at my clock, and it reads _9:32 am_

I feel dirty, dreaming about my friend in secret

_I need to shower_

I walk over to my bathroom, flicking the light on. I look at myself in the mirror.

 _You should feel ashamed, you're disgusting for having a dream about someone who feels nothing for you_ I think to myself

I quickly undress, wanting to just get in the shower and let go of everything

I grab my phone, and open Spotify

I see _I Wanna Be Yours_ from last night

I try to ignore it, searching up a different song and getting into the shower

 _Sweet Creature_ by Harry Styles starts playing (lol that's so random but this is one of my favorite song of harry's so i decided to just put it in the story)

 _I just wanna be yours_ replays in my head over and over

No matter how hard I tried to stop thinking of the lyrics, I couldn't. They reminded me of George, and I felt comfort in them

_I just wanna be yours_

I still don't know what these feelings are, but I know they exist

I feel guilty for feeling like this. 

I just stand there, in the shower letting the warm water run down my body, hoping it'll cleanse me of my guilt; hoping it would wash the feelings away and go down the drain along with the water

I stayed like this for a while, standing there, in the shower, head full of thoughts

_why do I feel like this_

_what's wrong with me_

_I miss George_

_why am I even thinking of him_

Realizing that the shower wasn't really helping with the George situation, I forced myself to leave the comforting warmness of the water

After stepping out of the shower and drying myself, I went over to the foggy mirror

I wiped it down so I could see myself in it.

I studied myself for a moment: the white towel around my wasit, my usual blonde fluffy hair (that's for you addy) was now damp and brown. my green eyes trailed down my body, as if studying it.

I wasn't insecure with how I looked, but I also didn't want a lot of people to know what I looked like. Not even George knew what I looked like

"George" I whispered to myself

Immediately after, I grabbed my phone. I opened _Snapchat_ and turned the camera so it was facing the mirror

I took a picture of myself; you could see my entire face, my hair, my body, everything (he still has the towel around his waist LMAO) 

I studied the picture for a moment, making sure I looked good 

I tapped George's name and hit _send_

 _sent just now_ Iread

_what the fuck did I just do_

_oh my god im an idiot_

I started panicking, mind racing with thoughts.

I quickly got off the app and set my phone down on the sink

_why would you do that, he's going to think you're ugly_

you **are** ugly

_you're pathetic_

_he's not going to be your friend anymore_

_you aren't worth it_

Head racing, I backed up slowly, staring at myself in the mirror until my back slammed against the wall.

I slid down it, landing on cold tile floor

I just sat there, panicking, regretting what I just did until something interrupted my thoughts

My phone buzzed

I slowly reached for it, anxious for what it would reveal to me

_George is typing...._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1298 words
> 
> AHHH cliffhanger (sorry)
> 
> I kinda hate this chapter, but I hope you guys enjoyed it :)
> 
> again, this was longer than the first chapter, so make sure to drink some water or eat something
> 
> you are worth it, and I love you!!
> 
> and leave feedback if you want, it's greatly appreciated


	4. Confession

_**TW: swearing, anxiety** _

_George is typing...._ _**  
** _

_what the fuck did I do_

I quickly open Snapchat and open our conversation

I stare at George's bitmoji, still typing, feeling like I was about to throw up

I sat there, on the cold tile floor, waiting for George to finish what he had to say

I continued staring at it for what felt like ages, continuously growing more anxious, telling myself that I was just dreaming

_its just a dream, you didn't actually fuck u-_

Something disrupted me from my thoughts

It was the words on my screen which read _"what the hell clay, is that actually you?"_

I stare at the words, not knowing how to respond

I reread the sentence several times as if it'll somehow bring an answer to me

I sat there, staring at the display of words George had sent, having no idea what to say back

I started typing a response, but kept deleting and retyping a new one

"yeah, do you like what you see?" _what the fuck, no_

"yes" _too boring_

"yeah lol" is what I eventually settle on

I hit _send_ and felt a drop in my stomach. What was I supposed to do now?

I just sat there, on the cold tile floor, thinking about how bad I just screwed up

_he's never gonna talk to you again_

_you made a mistake_

_you are a mistake_

I kept thinking these thoughts, until I heard my phone go off again

_george_

_I_ quickly opened the new message, anxious, but also eager to see his reponse

 _"oh, you're hot_ 😏😏 _"_

I felt a familiar heat rise up to my cheeks and travel to the back of my neck

_I was blushing, why on earth was I blushing_

I knew he was joking, but I couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness. This new compliment made me feel giddy, but there was one problem

_how do i respond_

We always have this playful banter, and I usually never had any issues on how to respond, but I for some reason struggled so much now

Maybe it was because I wanted it to be more than just playful banter. I wanted it to be real, I wanted him to mean those words

_no, george is just my friend, i can't feel like this_

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of the feeling of yearning for George. I wanted him so much

Getting lost in these new found feelings, I completely forgot about my conversation with George, and yet again, opened Spotify

I searched up _I Wanna Be Yours_ , despite everything in my body telling me it was a mistake 

I hit the play button, and instantly start humming along with the now familiar lyrics

I change my position from leaning up against my bathroom wall, to now laying down on the tile floor

I still only had the towel wrapped around my waist, but I didn't feel like getting up and changing into clothes

I laid there, on the cold floor, thinking of George as I hummed the lyrics to myself

_secrets i have held in my heart_

The floor was rather uncomfortable; the cold tile sending shivers throughout my body, and the hard surface causing my body to become sore, but I stayed there, feeling like I couldn't get up. I didn't **want** to get up I felt comfort in the lyrics, it was as if the song was describing exactly what I was going through in that moment

_I just wanted to be George's_

I started to feel tired, and my body started to finally relax and get used to laying on the floor

I felt my eyelids get droopy, and the last thing I remember hearing was _I just wanna be yours_ before I fell asleep

I heard faint ringing, but I didn't know what it was

I opened my eyes, immediately squinting due to the light practically blinding my tired eyes

I located the source of the annoying ringing; it was my phone

I picked it up and saw that Sapnap was calling me

I checked the time before answering the call and it was _3:29 pm_

Even though I didn't really want to, I answered the call

Before I was even able to get a word out Sapnap interrupted me

"WHAT THE HELL DUDE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN"

"What are you talking about Sap" I asked confused

"I've been calling you for like thirty minutes now. Why the hell haven't you been answering" he replied, a bit calmer this time

Looking back to what I've been doing the past few hours, I decide to leave out the "listening to a song that reminds me of george because I want him part" and reply with a simple "I fell asleep. Did you need anything" 

"No, not really, George just told me that you sent him a picture of yourself, only wearing a towel" he snickered

I cringed, thinking back to that morning. I felt the same heat rising to my cheeks, just as it did earlier

Out of embarrassment, or just the fact that George was mentioned, I wasn't sure why I was blushing this time

"Yeah, I-I just figured there was no point in hiding my face from him anymore" I reply quickly, stuttering over my words

"Yeah, okay" He says between wheezes

_he probably knows_

"What's so funny" I ask, scared for his answer

"I get that you wanted to show him your face, it's just the fact that you sent a picture of you, only wearing a towel around your face" he says, trying not to laugh

I didn't know how to respond, so I just didn't.

We sat in silence for what felt like ages, but in reality it was only a couple of seconds

"Anyways... George is fixing to start a stream, do you wanna come on with me" he asks

_thank god he changed the topic_

"Uh yeah, sure I'll get on discord in a few minutes" I replied before hanging up

I knew I was acting weird, and they probably noticed it, I just was in a weird place. I've just figured out I'm in love with my best friend

_no you're not in love, you just think about him_

_yeah okay, all you do is think about him_

_I argued with myself in my head for a few more seconds, but remembered that I had to get on George's stream_

I slowly got up from the bathroom floor, body aching from the hard surface (his towel stays on the whole time even though that's unrealistic but it's fine)

Once I was finally stood up, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror

I put my hands on the sink and just looked at my reflection, expecting it to tell me what I should do

A weird feeling came over me; nervousness

I was nervous to talk to George. 

_why was i nervous_

_it's just george, you've been best friends for so long_

_but now you want to be more_

I tried getting the intrusive thoughts out of my head, and just looked into the mirror once more

"You can do this, Clay" I whisper to myself

I walk into my bedroom, and quickly get dressed into gray sweatpants, and a white t-shirt, before sitting down in my chair and turning on my monitor

I started feeling more anxious, thinking about everything that could go wrong this stream

_what if I say the wrong thing_

_no, stop being a pussy, you'll be fine_

Once my monitor fully turned on, I opened discord and saw that Sapnap and George were in vc2

My hands were shaking at this point, I felt like I couldn't breathe

I was starting to feel hot, and started panicking. 

I started taking deep breaths, hoping this would calm me down. I kept taking deep breaths for a few moments until I felt a little better

I could breathe better now, but my hands were still shaking, and I had a weird feeling in my stomach. It was as if my stomach was just a a dark, empty pit

I wearily hit the _join_ button of vc2 and was greeted by shouts

"DREAM" George and Sapnap said in unison

I immediately smiled, happy at my friends reaction of getting to talk to me

 _this is going well_ I thought to myself

"hi guys" I replied through a smile

We talked for a few more minutes while George was getting read and setting up for his stream

"So what are we even doing for the stream gogy" Sapnap asked, laughing

"I was just thinking of speedrunning and you guys just talk to me while I do it?" "If that's okay with you guys" George replied

Sapnap and I both agreed to it, and George was finally ready to start his stream

_GeorgeNotFound has gone live_

I opened his stream as I usually would on my second monitor, but my mouth fell open as soon as I did

"Holy shit" I say aloud, not meaning to

_fuck they had to have heard me_

"Dream?" they both question

_what the fuck do I say_

"Oh I uh..just saw this sick fanart on twitter and was really impressed by it" I lie

_there's no way they actually believe me_

"yeah okay" sapnap says sarcastically "you were probably looking at gogy's pretty face" he huffs out, laughing

At that, George laughs, and I see it on my second monitor. Him laughing immediately makes me smile, the way his nose scrunches every time he laughs. I zone out for a second while just watching him talk to his chat

_god, he's so hot_

"Alright chat, let's go into the first seed" I faintly hear George say to his chat **bit of a time skip just like an hour or so into the stream :)**

The stream had been going on for a bit over an hour, and I hadn't said anything about my feelings for George, everything was going great

We were just all talking to each other until George got a dono that said "hey guys, I love you all so much, what's your guys' favorite song"

George read it out loud, and Sapnap immediately answered " _Immortal_ by 21 Savage" (that's so random idk if that's actually true LMAO)

"Mine's probably _Arms Tonite_ by Mother Mother at the moment" George answers (SHOUTOUT TO ALYSSA FOR THIS SONG I LOVE YOU)

"What's yours Dream?" he asks

I don't even hesitate even one second before answering " _I Wanna Be Yours_ by Arctic Monkeys"

"That's so random what the hell" Sapnap teases

"Like yours is any better" George responds, laughing

Before I can stop myself, I say "It reminds me of George"

My eyes widen once I realize what I just said

I just said a song reminded me of George in from of 100,000 people

As if that wasn't bad enough, I said that in front of **George**

_what the actual fuck im such an idiot_

"WHA-" I hear Sapnap say before I quickly leave the call

_what the hell am i supposed to do now_

I look over to my second monitor, George's stream is still up

His eyes are wide, and his cheeks have a light shade of pink tinting them

_is he blushing??_

I feel a heat rising to my cheeks, mainly out of embarrassment, but also because I made George blush

I sit there, staring at George for a few more moments, admiring all of his features; his pink tinted cheeks, his chocolate brown hair, and his light brown eyes

He looked perfect, just like he always did

He was wearing that navy sweatshirt I told him so many times I liked

I never meant it more than a friendship way, but now I sit here getting turned on by it (OH MY GOD I HATED WRITING THAT HOLY)

I quickly shut off the stream, before things went further than they already were

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do now, it was only _5:38 pm_

I shut off my monitor, and just went over to lay down in my bed

I wasn't even tired, but I didn't feel like doing anything at that moment

I replayed the moment in my head, the moment where I admitted that a song reminded me of him

I cringed, thinking about how weirded out he must be

_he probably thinks you're disgusting_

_you're such a fucking mess up_

_you ruined everything_

My phone vibrated, and I looked at the new notification, nervous to see what it was

It was from Sapnap

_what could he possibly want right now_

I opened the message, and read _"dude, what the fuck was that"_

I shakily type back "We need to talk"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note
> 
> 2017 words
> 
> hi everyone!!
> 
> I'm SO sorry it took so long to get this out. I accidentally deleted like over half of the chapter, and had to completely restart
> 
> I actually kind of like this chapter, how did you all like it?? :))
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it!
> 
> Please leave feedback, it's greatly apprecaited
> 
> Remember, you are worth it and I love you!!
> 
> have a great day/night


	5. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note
> 
> hi everyone!!
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 95 READS AHHHH
> 
> I really appreciate it :))
> 
> anyways, I just wanted to tell you all if it takes a couple days to get a new chapter out, it's because I constantly delete and restart if I don't like it, and try to get it perfect
> 
> honestly such a bad trait of mine, but I'm trying to write faster for you all
> 
> okay I'm done time for the next chapter, I hope you enjoy :))
> 
> one last thing, you should like definitely vote on the chapters if you like them lolll thanks

**TW: swearing, anxiety**

I opened the message, and read _"dude, what the fuck was that"_

I shakily type back "We need to talk"

I hit _send and_ waited for a response

I honestly wasn't sure what I was supposed to tell Sapnap, but I knew that I needed to tell someone about how I was feeling

How did I even feel? I wasn't even sure. I mean yeah, I thought George was unbelievably hot, and yeah he makes me smile, and I get butterflies when I'm around him, so what??

_you're in love with him_

I ignored the thought in the back of my head, and continued denying my feelings for him

Just then, Sapnap responded "What about"

_what am I supposed to say to that_

I started feeling more anxious, and I started feeling really hot even though it was freezing in my room

_no, calm down it's just Sapnap_

"It's important, can we just call?" I eventually replied

Seconds after, my phone lit up with the notification that Sapnap was calling me

I just stared at my phone, trying to force myself to answer it, but I had a strange feeling that I would probably regret it (is stared a word? it just looks so weird LMAO)

Despite the strange feeling, I pressed the green _answer_ button and was met by a loud voice

"what the hell took you so long to answer" he asked, annoyed

"Sorry, I was just...I don't know" I said "I really need to tell you something, but I'm not sure how to even say it. I don't even know how I feel if that makes any sense" 

I waited for him to respond, but he didn't. All I heard was silence, as if he was just telling me to continue, so I did

"I've been feeling really weird these past couple days. It started after me and George had one of our usual late night talks, except I felt different afterwards" I explained

Again, I was met with silence, so I just continued

"We had our usual playful banter, and George got flustered as always, but this time I felt kind of happy that I made him feel flustered?" "It was a really weird feeling, and I had this strange feeling in my stomach, but it felt good at the same time" "It was like I was nervous, but also happy at the same time" I said, slowly opening up more and more to Sapnap

This time, I didn't wait to hear the silence to know to continue, I immediately went to the next part

"That night, I was listening to a song, and it reminded me so much of George. The song reminded me of yearning for someone, wanting to be theirs, it made no sense that it reminded me of George" Now, my cheeks were starting to heat up

_great, now im blushing_

_"_ And ever since that night, I can't get him out of my head." "I don't know what this means though. I don't know why I feel like this" I say, whispering, slightly embarrassed

Now that I was done telling my life story, I was ready to hear Sap's response

I waited, but there wasn't one. It was completely silent

_what if he thinks you're weird now_

_he's probably disgusted_

_he hates you_

Lost in these thoughts, I almost didn't hear what was happening on my phone; it was Sapnap wheezing, trying to catch his breath

_what the hell could he possible be laughing about_

_he's probably laughing at me_

"What's so funny" I say, annoyed

"You-you're so *wheeze* in love with him" he says through laughs

_what is he talking about_

"What are you even talking about, no I'm not" I scoff

All I got in response was more laughing from him

I was over the whole situation, and over him

"Okay, I'm hanging up" I say annoyed

I go to press the red button to end the phone call, but stop when I hear him say something

"Wait, no I'll *laugh* I'll stop" he says, laughing

I listen, and decide not to hang up only because he might actually be able to help with the situation

A few seconds later, he had finally calm down and wasn't laughing like an idiot anymore 

_thank god_

"Look, you said it yourself. You were happy to make him flustered, you get butterflies around him, and you constantly think about him." he says, in a calm tone

"Wha-" I try to get out before I'm interrupted

"No, let me finish. That's not even all of it. You say a song that's literally called _I Wanna Be Yours_ reminds you of him." "I think that alone is enough proof that you have feelings for him" 

I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. There's no response to what he just said

I go over the words he just said in my head, trying to come up with a response to prove him wrong, but I can't come up with one single thing to say

_he's right_

_no, he's not, George is just my friend_

I sit there silently, arguing with myself in my head, too scared to say anything

I finally build up the courage to say something "But I can't like him. We've been best friends for so long, it would ruin everything" 

"Not to sound cliché, but you won't know until you tell him. You never know, maybe he feels the same way?" he replies

_no he doesn't_

_you and George are just **friends** , nothing more_

_George would never be into you, he's straight_

"Yeah, maybe" I lie

The call goes silent, neither of us knowing what to say

I want the silence to end, so I just say whatever comes to mind

"I'm sorry" I say quickly

"What, why?" he asked, voice laced with concern

"Are you not mad that I like George?"

"Dream, of course I'm not mad. We've been friends for 7 years, I'll always be here for you, no matter what. You mean a lot to me, and you can talk to me about this anytime you need to. Just don't go too into detail about how hot George is" he teases

"Thank you Sapnap, it means a lot" I reply, smiling

"I think you honestly help me come to my actual feelings, I've been denying them these past couple days, too scared of what they meant for me, but now I know how I actually feel" 

"Even though I'm terrified as hell as to what this means for me in the future, at least I'm not lying to myself anymore" I say 

It was true, I was happy I knew what the actual feelings were, but I still hated not knowing what it meant for my future

That was the part that made me feel anxious, not knowing what would happen

_what if he rejects me_

_what if it ruins our friendship, it'd be my fault_

As if Sapnap could read my mind, he says "Dream, it's not your fault, you need to stop worrying about it so much"

We talk for another hour or so just about random things like video ideas, new streams, the podcast, and anything else

We eventually parted ways and got off the phone

After I hung up, I sighed looking over at my clock, and it read _6:57 pm_

It was early, but I was exhausted

From what? I'm honestly not sure

I lay down on my bed, and immediately dive into my thoughts

This was something I usually tended to do; just close my eyes, and just think about everything going on in my life

It usually wasn't good, it always made me extremely anxious, but this time I found it to make me more relaxed

The only thing I was thinking about was _george_

I would usually feel anxious when I thought about him because I didn't know how I even felt about him, but it was now relaxing to think about him

I found comfort in thinking about him, it made me happy. 

**He** made me happy

At that, I started to feel my body relax, and my eyes start to feel heavy

_I like George.._

_as more than just a friend_

I fell asleep, smiling at that thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note
> 
> 1436 words
> 
> I have a love hate relationship with this chapter, I don't know how to feel about it, but I hope you all enjoyed it :))
> 
> I've had a stressful day, but still wanted to write and publish this for you all today, and I'm hoping to have another one our tomorrow!!
> 
> As always, please leave feedback, it's greatly appreciated
> 
> Also, please vote for this chapter lol 
> 
> Remember, you are worth it, and I love you!!
> 
> Have a great day/night


	6. Secrets

TW: **swearing, anxiety**

I suddenly opened my eyes, gasping, trying to catch my breath

_why can’t i breathe_

I looked down, and I was in my bed, gripping the comforter, knuckles white because of how hard I was gripping it

Beams of sweat were dripping down my face, I was burning up

_but why_

Things were slowly starting to come back to me from the night before

_i had a nightmare_

I slowly started to come back in reality, and was now able to breathe

I loosened my grip on the comforter and ran my hands through my hair

I started having flashbacks of the nightmare

_you’re a freak_

_you disgust me_

_don’t ever talk to me again_

_i’m done with you_

I remembered the hurtful remarks, which were said by George after I had told him how I felt about him

I remember how upset I became when he said these things to me, I felt like I was going to die

I had felt like there was no reason to live anymore

_but i was fine now. it was just a nightmare_

I still felt sick to my stomach, just thinking about George saying those things to me

I shuddered at the thought of it

_maybe it’s a sign that i shouldn’t tell him how i feel_

_no, don’t be a pussy_

I needed to tell him how I felt, I couldn't;t hide this form him anymore

_ill tell him tonight_ I told myself

As I started to gather my surroundings again, I remembered that I was sweating like crazy

_it’s hot as hell_

I decide to get out of my bed to go shower, but when I do, I start to feel dizzy

My room starts to spin, and I get a weird feeling in my stomach, feeling as if there was a dark empty pit in my stomach; it felt unsettling'

I spun around my room, feeling around for my bed to sit down, but was met. by the bright light seeping in through my bedroom from my window

"fuck"

I close my eyes, still feeling sick, and just stand for a moment'

After what felt like ages, I didn't feel as sick, and I opened my eyes

_my room isn’t spinning anymore so that’s a good sign_ I thought to myself

I walk over to my bed, and lay down, the bed instantly taking form to my body

_i feel like shit_

My head was pounding, i still felt nauseous, and my throat was killing me. I felt like I was on my death bed 

_you probably just have a cold_

No matter what it was, I still felt like shit

I laid on my bed, too scared to get up in case I got dizzy again

Head pounding, I felt a wave of tiredness wash over me, causing my eyelids to automatically start to close

_no, you need to shower_

_but i’m so tired_

I tried so hard to force my eyes to stay open, but the tiredness was stronger than me. I eventually gave up, and let my eyes close, and it felt amazing

Feeling relaxed, I quickly drifted off to sleep

I stayed like this for a while; happy, relaxed, asleep, until something awoke me

I slowly opened my eyes, not knowing exactly where I was

I heard a ringing, but couldn't find what the cause of it was

I sat up, finally figuring out that I was in my bed, and located the source of the annoying ringing

it was my phone, and someone was calling me

I grabbed my phone, and checked to see who was calling me

it was george

_oh fuck_

_fuck shit fuck shit fuck_

_no, calm down it’s fine. just be normal_

I just stared at the phone, trying to build up the courage to press the green button to answer his call, but I couldn't

I was overthinking it

_this will go wrong. don’t do it_

I ignored the voice in the back of my head, and impulsively pressed the green button

_shit what do i say-_

Before I could even finish the thought, I was interrupted by a screaming voice

"DREAM WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN WHAT THE HELL" I heard George exclaim

I go to answer, but am once again, cut off

"IVE BEEN CALLING FOR LIKE THIRTY MINUTES I THOUGHT SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO YOU" he continued

_wait, was he worried for me?_

I felt a blush form on my cheeks, just at the thought of George caring for me

I pondered in that thought, until yet again, George's voice interrupted it

"well??" he asked, sounding slightly annoyed

"oh um yeah, sorry I've been asleep all day, I think I'm sick I'm not really sure"

"oh well, are you okay now? what's wrong??" he asked, with a now gentler tone

"I still feel sick, I'm just super hot, feeling super dizzy, and my throat was bothering me"

"Oh ,I'm sorry, I'll let you go so you can get some rest" George said, sounding for some reason disappointed

"No wait, I want to talk to you" I exclaim, before I can stop myself

_why would you say that_

"O-Oh okay, yeah that's fine" George stuttered, sounding flustered

_it’s too easy_

At this point, I was smiling, just happy that I would be able to talk to George

"But I have to shower first, I think it'll make me feel better, but i'll call you as soon as I'm done"

"do you really have to hang up" George quickly said

_what did he say_

I heard George quietly gasp, then a second later heard him mumble "oh my god, i didn't mean to say that."

I could hear the embarrassment in his voice

At this point, I was struggling to hold in my laughs in effort to not embarrass him more

"Don't worry George, I'll send you a picture as soon as I get out. All you have to do is ask" I say, smirking

_what am i doing_

"What are you talking about,I don't want you to send me a picture. I said it on accident, I didn't even mean it" he scoffed

My heart dropped, hearing those words; I felt disappointed

"but you can send me a picture if you wanted to I guess" I heard him whisper

Hearing those words come out of his mouth instantly made the disappointment wash away

Now it was my turn to feel flustered

"Y-yeah I'll talk to you as soon as I get out" I whispered, trying not to give away how flustered I was

"bye dream"

I could practically hear the smirk in his words, he knew that he had flustered me

I heard the sound signaling the call had ended, and felt a weird pit in my stomach

_i already miss him_

I missed his voice, I wanted to talk to him again, right then and there

_no, you need to just shower first, you’ll feel better_

While in the call with George, I was so happy and distracted I didn't even notice the pounding in my head was growing more and more painful by the second

I brought my hands to my head, rubbing both of my temples in attempt to get rid of the headache

_i wish george was here to take care of me_

At this point, I couldn't stop myself from thinking of him anymore

_i want him(this_ sounds creepy, but it's not i promise LMAOO)

I shook the thoughts out of my head, and got up to go to my bathroom

I brought my phone with me, already knowing what song I wanted to listen to

I quickly undress, wanting to get into the shower as soon as I could

I look at myself in the mirror, again studying what I looked like

I had a good body, and I was pretty attractive, yet I felt like I wasn't enough. Especially for George

_he deserves better_

I shake the thought out of my head, and go onto my phone and open Spotify

I click on _I Wanna Be Yours_ not being able to resist the temptation

The song brings me comfort. More specifically the lyrics. It's as if the song has been through exactly what I'm going through right now

It describes the feeling I feel every single second of the day when I think of him

His perfect chocolate brown hair, his brown eyes, the faint freckles on his face, and his smile. God his smile

_stop thinking of him_

As much as I knew I shouldn't be thinking of him, I couldn't help it. He's too perfect

I turn on my shower, making sure to turn it as hot as it could possibly go, hoping it would help me relax (idek if that makes sense but we will pretend it does)

I step into it, the hot water burning my skin at the touch, but it still felt good

I ran my hands through my hair, and let my tense body relax at the hands of the hot water running down my body

_i wish george was here_

I continued thinking of him the entirety of the shower, wanting him to be there with me, wanting him.

I was in more of a rush than usual, trying to get it over with as quickly as I could so I could talk to him again.

_i miss him_

After about ten minutes, I finished and stepped out of the shower, steam everywhere

The mirror was foggy, so I wiped it down to get a good look at myself

I had a white towel around my waist, you could see my abs, my hair was wet, and darker than usual; i looked pretty hot 

I knew I looked good, so I wanted to show George

I opened Snapchat, clicked his name, and took a photo

I made it blurry, as if to tease him. You could still see my abs, my hair, my waist

_i hope he thinks i look good_

I hit _send_ and with that my heart drops

_what if he thinks i look ugly_

_you did look ugly_

_no, i looked good_

I couldn't help but worry that he wouldn't like the picture. I began feeling nervous, a pit in my stomach was forming just thinking about what his reaction would be

I stared at my phone, waiting for him to open it, but he was taking so long

It had only been a minute, but it felt like hours. I started freaking out, regretting my decision of even sending the picture

Just then, the _delivered_ changed to _opened_

_fuck_

_shit_

_george has taken a screenshot_

_wait what??_

_why did he screenshot that_

_probably to make fun of you_

__

_maybe it was an accident_

Curious, I clicked his name and began typing

"why did you screenshot lol"

As normal as that sentence might've come off, my hands were shaking, nervous for what his respond would be"

He immediately started typing..

He typed for a few seconds, stopped, then began typing again

_probably thinking of a way to tell you that you're ugly_

My hands were shaking at this point, my head was full of bad thoughts; I was panicking

He stopped typing, and all of a sudden there were words on my screen

I read them, but the words shocked me. I re read it several times, telling myself I was reading it wrong

"because i liked it"

_wait_

_he liked that picture of me_

_what does that mean_

I turn off my phone, still shocked at what I just read

I feel the familiar heat rise to my cheeks. I knew I was blushing, why wouldn't I?

Smiling, I walk out of my bathroom, and go back into my room to get dressed

I wanted to talk to George, see what that was about, so I got dressed as fast as I could, just throwing on random sweats

After I got dressed, I laid back down on my bed, and went to call George

I was about the hit the call button, but felt a wave of nervousness run through me

_what do i say_

"so you think i'm hot" _no, cocky much?_

"hey" _no he just screenshotted a shirtless picture of you and all you can think of is hey_?

I still had no idea what I wanted to say, but I hit the call button, just eager to talk to him

It rang, but only for one second, George answered almost immediately

_fuck what do i say_

I had no idea what to say, yet words were spilling out of my mouth

"So George, you liked the picture"

w _hat the fuck did i just say_

I didn't even know I had said it, the words just flowed out of my mouth

I wait for his reaction, scared as to what he would say

"y-yeah it was uh it was kind of hot" he whispered, sounding embarrassed

_he's so cute_

"I know you think I'm hot, all you have to do is ask for those pictures and I'll send more to you"

I couldn't believe the words coming out of my own mouth. I wasn't even meaning to say them, they were just spilling out

"yeah, okay" he scoffed

I laughed, knowing how embarrassed he was

"You know, you could send me pictures like that too. I wouldn't complain"

_what did i just say_

_you're such an idiot_

"I might just do that" he said proudly

"oh yeah?" I said smirking

"yeah, I'll send you one tomorrow" he said matter-of-factly

"Well I'm really looking forward to it" I say before I can stop myself

_yeah, go ahead and just out yourself dumbass_

_maybe i should tell him how i really feel_

"That reminds me, why'd you leave my stream so suddenly the other day"

_fuck i forgot about that_

"Oh uh, I just got really embarrassed. You know, after I said that song reminded me of you"

"Really? That's why you left?"

I was scared to answer "....yeah?"

He immediately burst out laughing

_why was he laughing_

He continued laughing, and I was just sitting there listening. His laugh was so adorable. It always made me smile, just like it was doing right now

I didn't know what we were even laughing about, but I started laughing with him. I started laughing so hard that I was wheezing, barely able to breathe

Finally, we caught our breaths, and stopped laughing

"I thought you were mad at me or something, I didn't know it'd be something dumb like that" he finally said

"Yeah, I don't know why I was so embarrassed honestly"

That was a lie. I was embarrassed because I related to the lyrics. I wanted him. But he didn't need to know that part

"I ended up listening to it after I ended my stream, I really like it." "I actually ended up listening to it on repeat that night" he said quietly

"Yeah, I've been doing that a lot these past few nights; It just comforts me for some reason. It's as if I somewhat relate to the song, like I'm going through what the song is about"

I hadn't even realized what I was saying, and didn't realize until after I said it

_why did you say that_

_the song is about wanting someone and you tell him you relate to it??_

"How do you relate to it? It's about wanting someone, and keeping that secret from them isn't it?" he asked, sounding as if his curiosity was peaking interest (does this make sense LMAO)

"...yeah" I respond hesitantly

I knew what question was coming next, but still wasn't ready for it

"Then how does it remind you of me"

I knew it was coming, but I still didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to have to explain to my best friend that I was in love with him; that I wanted him. I wasn't ready for that

I laid there, not knowing how to respond. My mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out

"dream?" he questioned

"yeah, I'm still here" I respond quietly "Just trying to think of a good response"

I take a deep breath, not ready for what I was about to say

"I'm honestly not sure why it reminds me of you George. I just know it does. Every time I listen to it, I think of you, without meaning to. I don't know what that means, but I think that it does mean something"

_holy shit i can't believe i just said that_

I continue "Maybe it's just because we're best friends and it has nothing to do with the actual song? I don't know"

All I hear is silence

"George??"

"yeah, I'm still here" he said quietly "Just trying to think of a good response"

_he's just trying to think of a good way to let you down_

_i have to fix this_

"It honestly might not mean anything"

"But what do you think it means" he asks

"I-"

_i don't know how to even respond_

I try to think of a response, but am cut off by George saying something

"Do you want it to mean something" he asks, sounding out of breath

"I-I think so? Do you want it to mean something" I whisper, scared as to what he'll say

"y-yeah" he says hesitantly

"So what does that even mean"

"Honestly, I have no idea" I hear him say

At this point, my head was buzzing with thoughts

I had no idea what any of this meant, and I was scared for what it meant

_does he feel the same way about me as I feel for him?_

I started to realize how tired I actually felt, my eyes were barely staying open

"George, I don't feel good and I'm really tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow" I ask on the verge of falling asleep

"Yeah, but can we sleep on call" he asks

"of course"

I wouldn't admit it, but I was happy to sleep on call with him. It brought a small smile to my face just thinking about it

"oh and george?" i ask through a yawn

"hm?"

"i want you to come to florida"

Before I could hear his response, I closed my eyes, and instantly fell asleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note
> 
> 3077 words
> 
> if you liked this pls vote for it :) it's super appreciated 
> 
> hi everyone!! i'm so sorry this took so long
> 
> i've been super stressed with school and was feeling unmotivated 
> 
> but after writing this chapter, i feel super motivated and am hoping to get back on a good schedule :) 
> 
> probably gonna have a george pov next chapterrrr 
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed, please leave any thoughts, they're appreciated 
> 
> i love you <3


	7. feelings??

TW: swearing, anxiety, slight mental/physical abuse

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GEORGE POV

"i want you to come to florida"

before I could even think of a response, I heard faint snoring through my phone

what the hell did he just say

he's probably just tired and sick, he didn't mean it

i hope he meant it

no, you can't think like that. he doesn't want you in that way. you're just friends and you'll never be more

do i even want him in that way?

to be honest, i have no idea what i want. i mean yeah, i think he's hot, and yeah he makes me happy, but so what?

you have feelings for him

no

i can't.

i sit up, running my hands through my hair

you can't put yourself through that again

my heart starts pounding, and my hands start shaking just thinking about it.

i close my eyes, trying to get the thoughts out of my head, but it doesn't work

"YOU'RE WORTHLESS"

"I NEVER EVEN LIKED YOU, I ONLY USED YOU"

"YOU'RE SUCH AN UGLY BITCH, NO ONE WOULD EVER WANT YOU"

i remembered the hurtful words, how they made me feel.

they made me feel worthless.

the person they were said by; i thought i could trust him. i thought he loved me

he was supposed to be my boyfriend

the words kept playing over and over in my head, until i forced my eyes open

there were tears flowing down my cheeks, falling onto my bed sheets

my hands were in my hair, balled up into fists, my knuckles white from it

i know i shouldn't be thinking of luke. everytime i did, i just remembered the hurtful words he said to me. the hurtful things he did to me

no. you're fine. he's not here anymore. he won't be able to find you again

i couldn't help it. my mind wandered back to our relationship.

it was six months ago. luke had come home from being out all night, and i had been worried for him

"LUKE WHAT THE HELL IVE BEEN CALLING YOU ALL NIGHT. ITS 3 AM WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN"

"none of your fucking business stop yelling at me bitch"

i was used to the name calling, so that wasn't what shocked me. it was the way he sounded. he was slurring his words

he was drunk

oh great

"are you drunk" i asked carefully

"yeah. what does it fucking matter. shut the hell up" he said slowly

"i've been worried about you all night. you couldn't at least just answer your phone?"

"i don't owe you ANYTHING bitch. now shut the hell up and get me a beer from the fridge" he yelled

"no. you've had enough to drink tonight"

that's when he started walking towards me. i remember how scared i was, scared of him.

he raised his hand and slapped my face, causing me to fall. i brought my hand up to my face, trying to stop the burning.

by then, tears were forming in my eyes, daring to flow down my cheeks.

"YOU'RE WORTHLESS"

"I NEVER EVEN LIKED YOU, I ONLY USED YOU"

"YOU'RE SUCH AN UGLY BITCH, NO ONE WOULD EVER WANT YOU"

tears started falling down my cheeks, one by one. i couldn't do anything. i just stan there, looking up at him scared to move.

"NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE"

i carefully got up, and ran out of the house not even turning back to get any of my belongings.

now, six months later, i'm living on my own and am doing better. i still have flashbacks to the toxic relationship, but i'm happier now.

dream makes me happy

obviously dream doesn't know about what happened in the relationship. he knew about the relationship, and how luke was my first ever boyfriend, but he didn't know about the things he did to me. he dissent know how much pain he caused me.

and he didn't need to know

by now, my head was racing with thoughts, and there was no way i would be able to sleep. i looked over at my clock and it read 1:20 am

i pick up my phone, forgetting that i was on call with a sleeping dream

i head over to my pc, deciding to just get on minecraft until i got tired

maybe i'll stream

i was tired, but the stream would hopefully distract me from everything that just happened

i booted up my pc, got onto twitch, and hit the go live button

within seconds, i already had 20,00 viewers.

the number quickly increased, going all the way up to 120,00 viewers

"hi chat!! how is everyone?"

i look at the chat and see several responses

good

tired

hi gogy!!

i smile, seeing everyone's answers in the chat. i had completely forgotten about everything. i was happy now, sitting here with chat.

"today is gonna be a super chill stream. probably just speedruns, and i was thinking also like a QnA type of thing? you guys can ask me questions through the donos and i'll answer them all"

i hear the sound of a dono come in and look over at my monitor to read "hi george!! have you recently talked to dream? ily"

i went to answer, but nothing came out. i was still in call with him

shit

"oh um we were just talking actually, and he fell asleep. he's still in this call actually" i say, stuttering

i felt a blush creep up onto my cheeks thinking about what we had previously talked about

about the feelings we talked about

i looked over at chat and saw

oooo he's blushing so much

dnf??

i smile, thinking of what it would be like to actually be dating dream. to be his boyfriend

i knew that by now my blush had turned a darker shade just thinking about being with dream.

thinking about him reminded me of the last thing he said. he said he wanted me to come to florida. but he's just tired right?

but he said he thinks of you when he hears that song. the song that talks about wanting someone

no, it's just a coincidence. stop it george. he doesn't have feelings for you

i sat there, thinking about dream, until a sound pulled me out of my thoughts

fuck i'm streaming

i had just zoned out on stream. great.

i shook any and all thoughts about dream out of my head, and loaded up a minecraft world and got back to answering donos

everything was going good, it had been about 25 minutes and i was now in the nether, this was a good time for me

i was extremely focused, towering over a huge lava pool, looking out for the fortress

i wanted to show off for the stream, and decided to try and speed bridge across it

and to no avail, i ended up failing and falling into the lava and losing all my things. 

and at this, i screamed out "WHY THE HELL DID I EVEN DO THAT" without thinking twice

that's when i heard a "what the hell" through my headphones

fuck shit fuck shit fuck

"george what happened are you okay?" i heard dream ask in a low, concerned voice

you could tell he just woke up, his voice was extremely low, it was kind of cute.

wait what? i can't think his voice is cute. fuck

"george, hello?"

"uh yeah i'm fine sorry. i'm just uh speedrunning and i died and lost all my stuff" i stuttered out, trying to ignore the heat rising to my cheeks

"oh good i thought something happened to you i was worried"

god he's so hot

wait fuck. i'm on stream

"oh i'm um streaming by the way" i said, looking over at my chat. i knew they'd be freaking out over this

HES BLUSHING

AWWW

DNF CONFIRMED

"oh. uh ill leave and let you get back to your stream"

my mouth started moving, but i had no idea what i was actually saying "wait no ill just end stream i wanna stay with you"

i didn't realize what i had said until seconds after

oh my fucking god

what the fuck george

now i KNEW my face was red from embarrassment

i just sat there for a second, still trying to process what the hell i just did in front of 120,000 people

i'm screwed

"bye guys i have to go i love you all" i quickly say before hitting the end stream button

i didn't even want to hear what dream had to say about what i just said

giving him no chance to react, i left the discord call.

you're such a fucking idiot why would you say that

because it's true. i didn't want him to leave. i wanted him to stay with me

head racing with thoughts, i leaned back in my chair.

"wait no ill just end stream i wanna stay with you" replayed over and over in my head

it was true. i wanted to stay with him. i wanted him. i wanted to be with him

wanting to just ignore all of these new feelings, i quickly got up and walked over to my bed

maybe this is all just a dream. just go to sleep and it won't be real tomorrow morning

i laid down, and closed my eyes and tried to push all the thoughts out of my head.

i miss dream 

i want to be back with him

i want him

the thoughts wouldn't go away. i couldn't stop thinking about him. i didn't want to stop thinking about him

as tired as i was, i forced my eyes open and grabbed my phone. i went to spotify and searched up I Wanna Be Yours

i hit play, and immediately fell into a new world. the lyrics brought me to a new place

i closed my eyes, listening to the lyrics, relating to the lyrics

the words made me feel safe. i felt comfortable in them. it was as if they were describing what i was going through now

i felt myself growing more tired, and the last thing i remembered was humming along "i just wanna be yours..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note  
> 1712 words 
> 
> hi everyone!! i hope you enjoyed :) 
> 
> sorry this took so long, i'm still in the process of moving, so i don't have a lot of free time :( 
> 
> if you enjoyed please vote this chapter it means a lot <3 
> 
> and PLEASE leave feedback or constructive criticism it's very appreciated 
> 
> remember to drink water, and eat something!! i love you <3


	8. tension

third person POV

george slowly opened his eyes, the bright sunlight seeping through his blinds, immediately hitting his sensitive eyes. he closed them quickly, grunting at the fact that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep

he kept them closed for a few moments longer, before slowly opening them again to try and readjust them to the brightness of the sun.

after a few moments of blinking several times, his eyes were finally adjusted to it. there was no way he would be able to go back to sleep after this, so he decided to get out of bed.

he threw the covers off of himself, and sat up in his bed, putting his feet on the floor. the floor was cold on his feet, causing him to cringe at the sudden coldness, but he stood up anyways. he walked into his bathroom, and turned on the bright light.

he walked over and stood in front of the mirror, looking at himself.

he looked like shit 

he studied himself; he looked tired, he had eyebags under his eyes, and he all around just looked like he hadn't slept in a week. he then remembered he events of the past night. dream

"i wanna stay with you" he cringed, remembering the words coming out of his mouth. he shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts of his head, just wanting to forget about it all for a moment.

he walked over to his shower, turning the knob as far as it would go, and waited for the shower to heat up. in the meantime, he took all of his clothes off, and grabbed a towel and his phone. he opened up spotify and saw "I Wanna Be Yours" from last night.

he knew he shouldn't listen to it because it reminded him of dream, but he couldn't help himself. he couldn't resist the temptation. he hit play, and immediately went back into a new world.

he stepped into the shower, the hot water immediately burning his skin, but he didn't mind. all he could think about was dream. all he wanted was dream

but he couldn't have him. he knew he couldn't do that to himself. his past relationship with luke brought him so much pain, he didn't want to go through that again

he once again tried clearing his head of dream, but the attempt was useless. he couldn't stop thinking of him. how he wanted him, how he needed him.

he stood there in the shower, mindlessly humming along with the song, letting the warm water through his hair, and down his body.

once the song ended, he finally snapped back into reality. he ran shampoo through his hair with his hands, still for some reason thinking of dream. i wish he was here with me.

no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about dream. he gave into the temptation every single time, because it felt comforting to think about dream. to think about how happy dream made him. he smiled, thinking about him. he knew he shouldn't be feeling like this, but he couldn't help it. the feeling felt too good

he finally finished showering about twenty minutes later. he stepped out of the shower, steam filling the air. he reached over and grabbed his towel wrapping it around his waist. he looked over and saw that the mirror was foggy, and walked over to it. he put his hands on his marble counter, gripping the edges, debating on whether he should listen to his intrusive thoughts.

send him a picture

he debated on whether or not he should do it, but quickly gave in. he wiped the fog off of the mirror while opening snapchat. he turned the camera around, and took a photo. he studied it; you could see his v line, just right above the towel surrounding his waist. his slight abs, still slightly wet from the shower, and his normally, dark, fluffy, brown hair was now jet black, dripping with water. he hit the send button, and quickly hit dreams name. he sent it with zero hesitation

he let go of a breath he didn't even know he was holding. he for some reason felt..free

he set down his phone and walked back into his bedroom. the cold air immediately sending chills down his spine, causing goosebumps to form on his arms.

he quickly got dressed into black sweats, and a black dream smile hoodie, smiling at the thought of dream. he heard his phone go off, and went back into his bathroom to see what it was. when he saw what it was, he felt a weird feeling in his stomach. he couldn't tell if it was a good or a bad feeling, but he knew it was there

dream screenshotted a snap

that's good right?? that means he liked it?

he thought about asking him why he had screenshotted the picture, but he decided to just ignore it. he grabbed his phone, and walked back into his room

there was really nothing he could do, so he decided to just stream. he also needed to talk about why he left so abruptly last night, even though he didn't want to.

he sat down at his chair and booted up his pc. he opened discord, seeing if anyone was online. no one was online, but he wasn't really surprised since it was so early. he felt somewhat disappointed seeing that dream wasn't online, because he really just wanted to talk to him, but shook off the feeling. he finally headed over to twitch and got everything set up to start his stream

he heard his phone go off, and he looked over to see what it was

new snap from dream

"what the hell could he have possibly sent" he said out loud to himself

he decided to just ignore it, even though his whole body was telling him to open it, he felt the temptation to open it, and t further talk to dream, but he needed to stream

he tried clearing his head once more before hitting the go live button. immediately 20,000 people joined

"hi everyone!! how are all of you?"

his mind was finally clear of dream, he was now focused on chat. that was until he started reading chat.

"where's dream??"

"get dream!!"

"i hope we get dnf content today"

he remembered the previous snap he had just received from dream, and now felt a new sudden urge to open it

"um i don't know if dream can get on stream today, but he did actually just snap me just before dream, i could open it i guess" he said even though he was secretly intrigued as to what it could be

he looked at the chat for responses and saw dream in the chat saying "PLEASE NO DONT OPEN IT ON STREAM" he saw the same text fly by 4 or 5 times. he chuckled, now getting even more intrigued

"hmmm, i think i'll open it anyway dreaaaam" he said through a laugh

"it seriously cannot be that ba-" he said as he got onto snapchat, but when he opened the snap from dream, he stopped mid sentence

he looked at the picture, it was a picture of dream shirtless, wearing just a towel around his waist. he could see his v line, his defined abs, and his usual fluffy blonde hair, was now wet. he was sticking his tongue out in the photo, which revealed his pearly white teeth.

george felt heat rising to his cheeks, and the back of his neck. he didn't even know what to say; he couldn't say anything. he was so genuinely starstruck by what he was looking at. dream looked perfect in the photo.

he was only finally brought back to reality by the sound of ringing in his ears. he looked up, realizing where he was. he was on stream

fuck fuck fuck

he slyly screenshotted the picture of dream, and set his phone down. he brought is attention back to chat to see what was going on

"HES SO RED"

"HES BLUSHINGGG"

"WHATS THE SNAP??"

he didn't know what to say, so he just came up with something "uh it was just some stupid inappropriate meme" he said through a forced chuckle.

still looking at chat, he saw dream saying something "GEORGE ANSWER MY CALL" is what dream spammed several times

he hasn't even realized he had missed a call, he was probably too busy looking at the picture of him. he felt a heat form on his cheeks just thinking about the picture again

god dream why are you doing this to me

he hears the familiar ringing, and immediately answered the call from dream. he didn't even know what to say, so he just waited for dream to say something

"hey geoooorge" dream said in a flirty voice "did you like the picture i sent you" george's eyes went wide at the question, not knowing how to answer.

"please stop" was all he could get out

dream knew he was flustered, and he loved it.

"just returning what you sent me this morning" dream said

george could practically HEAR the smirk in the sentence.

he was opened his mouth to respond, but remembered he was on stream. he quickly closed it, and shook his head, trying to just clear his thoughts.

why was dream doing this to him

"dream. we can talk about this later" george whispered before ending the call

once he hears the signal, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. he knew his cheeks were pink from the conversation he just had, but at this point he didn't even care

he knew there was tension between him and dream, he could practically feel it even though they weren't physically together. he just didn't know if he could handle that much longer. he needed to be with dream. actually be with him, not just on a discord call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> authors note   
> 1677 words   
> if you enjoyed this chapter please vote it <3  
> hi everyone!! i hope you enjoyed this chapter :)   
> i wrote this in third person, which i've never done and i actually kind of like it more. let me know if you like it :D  
> anyways, i'm finally done moving i just have to unpack. i'm hoping to get a new chapter out this weekend, but no promises :(  
> i love you all!! have a good day/night


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